I think I originally posted this on The Blue Doodle… not sure if I posted it here or not… so I am going to give it a go

The Beauty of Age

I remember being a child and wishing for nothing more than to be grown up.  I am sure we all did this when we were younger, and now wish we could take it back.  Maybe spend a little more time being a kid.

I wanted to drive so badly.  I remember just aching at fourteen to get behind the wheel of a car.  If I was lucky, on the trip back from Grandmother’s house, my mom would let me drive some… what a feeling.  Driving 25 mph on a 55 mph highway… trying my damnedest to keep from swerving all over the place; that woman had nerves of steel. 

My son talks about driving now, he’s eight.  Like that is EVER going to happen.  I am never letting that kid have the wheel of my car, and just sit in the passenger seat and watch.  That is crazy…

!  He wants to grow up and drive.  He’s even talking about getting married.  He’s EIGHT!!!  What are they teaching these kids in school? He’s a super smart kid, but we have the same dumb conversations I had with my mother…”Why can’t I just be grown up now?”

“Gabe, it’s not that great being a grown up,” I have to say.

“You get to drive and stay up late… you even get to eat ice cream for breakfast.”  He is upset with me because I do occasionally eat ice cream for breakfast.  That is one of the many perks of this grown up bit that I am happy to say I actually dig.

“Well, it’s not all that great.  Besides you spend your whole life wishing for more.  I wished I was sixteen too, so I could drive.  Then I wished I was eighteen so I could smoke…”

“But you don’t smoke…” he interrupts.

“I know I don’t smoke… but I could if I wanted to, and that is the beauty of it.”

“I still don’t get it.”

“Well you are eight, y’know? After eighteen you have twenty-one. Oh man twenty-one… good times.  You can drink..”

“I can drink…” he says.

“No… alcohol,” he is looking at me very puzzled, “Like beer…”

“That’s a drug!  Why would you want to drink that?”

“Man… I don’t know why you would want to; you just do.  ANYway, at twenty-five your insurance drops, and I think you can rent a car.”

“Insurance?  What is that?” I really didn’t think I was going to have to go into premiums and plan choices with my son, but you’d be amazed at the questions he asks, and if I can’t answer them… I fake it.  Surely he will forget before he hits therapy in a few years, right? Skip ahead several minutes later, “Well…”

“After that it’s pretty much down hill… I think maybe all you have to look forward to after that is AARP.”

“What’s that?” again with the questions. Damn it, kid… can you give me a moment of peace so I can think clearly for a moment?  Can you stop talking long enough for me to remember why I wanted kids in the first place? Yeah I can’t wait till you’re grown up too… so you will know everything; or at least THINK you do.

“Well,” I look into his eyes and see that unconditional love he has for me.  I see the spark… curiosity that makes up his brilliant mind.  For a moment I grasp a hold of that childhood that quickly raced past me, and I remember exactly how he feels… that ache to be like my parents, because they were my world; I am his world.  I smile and feel the spirit of my youth dancing in my head… answering the best I can, “you get free coffee at the gas station when you fill up…”

“But you don’t drink coffee,” he interrupts.

“I know I don’t drink coffee… but I could if I wanted to.”

~2

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This entry was posted on Sunday, March 4th, 2007 at 4:31 pm and is filed under family. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.