This is a repost from The Blue Doodle’s Blue October Special Edition… I was kind of bored and I really liked this story. You may not, but hey who knows…
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Win a Date With Weirdo
So today is the big day. I recently ran a contest on my website to win a date with me… yeah, the weirdo. My publicist says I need some good publicity after last month’s dumpster diving fiasco, so this was her big idea. I had to weed through all these applicants and pick one or two to take out to a lovely dinner and maybe some club or something. Didn’t sound like too much fun to me, but hey the company is paying and I am just their minion.
I had to call my best friend, Pete, and ask for some advice. Thank god he’s going with us, I dont know what I would do without him. “Hey Pete, its me,” I ramble he hates that I dont let him get a word in edgewise, “What color panties should I wear tonight?”
“Jesus, 2, youre such a dirty pirate hooker!” he says.
“Oh whatever Just trying to get you pumped for the show.”
“What show? I thought we were going to dinner and clubbing with your Hotties.”
“Nah, fuck that! Were going to see Blue October tonight. Im in love.”
“Love?” he always questions me, “You’re fucking married.”
“Yeah, I know… Justin Furstenfeld *sigh* I am sooo in love with that guy, and tonight were going to see him Hotties and all…”
“The KISS ones.”
“What?”
“The KISS panties… wear those.”
“How in the FUCK did you know I had KISS panties?” were my last words before I hung up on him. He hates it when I do that too… haha I love it.
So, the limo arrives already loaded with the hand selected Hotties about 6ish. Pete and I are inside the studio playing some old Super Mario Brothers. Cheryl has been mixing us some mean ass drinks for the past 2 hours, and entertaining us with her wit and wisdom. The Hotties enter and man, good picks. When I selected them I was smitten… one, Sam had nice chiseled features and a devilish smile. Kris, Hottie Number 2, was tall and had these eyes that just made me melt. He reminded me a lot of an old friend, and I think that made him even more appealing.
SO… they make it into my studio lounge and both are a bit confused, I guess they thought it was going to be something a little more intimate. I explained there was going to be a slight change of plan… they werent too excited about it. Kris asked if he could call my publicist; I laughed he had her number in his pocket. I agreed and dialed the phone for him.
“Hi, this is Kris… yeah ONE of the Win a Date with a Weirdo winners. It looks like there are two winners here and now 2mara is talking about changing the plans, can she do that? I mean aren’t we suppose to just have a nice dinner, etc. (long pause) yeah shes right here. Just a moment.” He looks at me and says she wants to talk to me.
Great here we go. He hands me the phone, “Hello, Gigi.” I just cringe and wait.
“Damn it, 2! The whole point of this win a date thing is to improve your image people are starting to talk, you know and it’s not looking good. You are turning into diva.”
“Oh no you didn’t… you didn’t just say that. You know better than anyone I am not asking for stuff and making outlandish demands.”
“You always change the score up… you’ve got to be so damn different. Why cant you just follow the plans?”
“I dunno… ANYway, were going to see Blue October. Wanna go?”
“Oh yeah?” she is so easily forgiving if I ask her to be involved, “How are the Hotties?”
“Hot! So whats with Ole Dude having your number? You trying to steal MY hotties?” I cant help but laugh ridiculously, and of course everyone in the room is staring. Kris looks kind of embarrassed. I love it!!!
She starts laughing and explains she thought he was indeed hot, and apologized for giving him her number. Like I cared I’m married, remember. I tried to quietly turn from my guests and explain that if she wanted him I would be willing to trade for a couple of those shirts she had printed up for me… again she laughs and agrees.
I tell my guests we are almost ready to roll, and I apologize for changing up our plans and told them that there would be some swag in it for them from the station and maybe some free slurpees from 7-11 or something. Apparently that was cool with them. I didn’t hear another word about it.
Sam, Sam… man this guy is something else. So smooth, I am at a loss. Kept complimenting me, my hair, my eyes… man, dude was looking to get lucky or something. He doesn’t know me very well. It was cute, but I know better. On our way out, I wanted to pick up my friend Alana. We rolled up to her house, and I had the driver just lay on the horn. She comes running out, and climbs in… what a hottie! My HOTTIES were immediately smitten. Good. More time to focus on my plan for winning over the BEAUTIFUL Justin Furstenfeld *sigh*.
We still needed to pick up Gigi, but I suggested we drive through Burger King first. My dates weren’t impressed in the least. What’s up with that? Who doesn’t like a Whopper with cheese, and they say I’m the weirdo.
Burgers in belly, we ride on to Gigis and she is dressed to the nines. She immediate slides next to Kris and starts up her conversation and is completely oblivious to the rest of us. She did hand me my shirts to which I am very thankful.
Pete and I check out the shirts, they are perfect. We laugh a good ten minutes (there’s the cliff hanger.. you wish you knew).
Getting closer to the venue Pete brings up the idea of tickets, OH FUCK, I almost forgot Ive got to call Pope. “Pete, let me see your phone.”
“It’s not after nine,” he says. Damn him and his lame evenings and weekends crap. “Why don’t you just use yours?”
“GEEZ just give me your phone,” he hands it over and I dial my manager, Pope. A few rings and an answer, “Hey sexy what are you wearing?” I say in a masked voice.
“Who is this?” he asks.
“You don’t remember? Last weekend? You, me, a tube of toothpaste, and a handful of circus freaks…”
“Why do you insist on doing this every time you call?” he gets so irritated with me geez, fucking fun hater.
“I do it because I love you so, and its so much fun. Besides if I dont, who else is going to? Did you get my tickets for Blue October?”
“Yes. I was only able to get two…”
“Hmn… I still love you. Marry me?”
“You’re already married.”
“I guess you’ll have to settle for someone else. I am sorry, but it’s time to move on… it just wasn’t meant to be. So are you coming with us or what?”
“I’m sorry I can’t. I’m a judge for this wet t-shirt contest downtown.”
“Sweet! How do I get my tickets?” He explains that I have to talk to the person at the sales window and tell them I have some on hold, etc. Aside, I tell Pete the deal with the tickets and ask him how we are going to get out of this date thing and go to the show. It looks like Kris and Gigi are getting a little heavy, so I don’t think it will be a big deal to ditch them on the other hand, Alana seems kind of bored with Sam’s fawning. I come up with an idea. I will try to slide her some cash in hopes that she will take him off my hands, liquor him up and leave him for the driver to take home. At least get him out of my hair, so Pete and I can go to the show. Blue October isn’t quite her thing anyway I am sure she will understand.
So Operation Ditch My Win a Date with a Weirdo Winners was a HUGE success. Pete and I were ready to enter the club and make our way toward Blue October and Justin Furstenfeld *sigh*. We are a bit early, so Pete had plenty of time to eye up the girlies. I have to give him kudos for actually chatting a few of them up… big balls.
The show is starting and we’re still just mingling throughout the crowd. Its some local band opening up, and I am sure we have seen them before, but I can’t remember their name. It doesn’t matter really. It goes by pretty fast and then an intermission while Blue October prepares to take the stage… I am can hardly wait. We make our way as close to the stage as we possibly can. I want to be able to taste his sweat.
As Blue October begins to play, I completely lose Pete I think he found a new friend, but I don’t care. I just stand there in my own little world staring. Oh…wait did he just look at me? He did… He looked at me. I could be struck with a natural disaster and all would be well with the world Justin Furstenfeld *sigh*… thank you for making my night. You don’t know it, but you won a date with a weirdo.
The end
~2
Share This
